True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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