yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
