Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
