so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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