All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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