we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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