He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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