Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
