Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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