Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
