dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize