No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
