Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
