when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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