you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
