you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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