Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
