its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I need a burrito and a hug.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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