im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
