I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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