just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
