would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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