omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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