So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
