we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
