Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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