Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
