it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Be still, my beating vagina.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
