i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
