How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
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We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
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You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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