So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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