i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
