Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.