He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.