Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize