dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
