piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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