we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
