I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize