Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
And then my night got REAL pukey
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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