8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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