I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
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Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
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He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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