WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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