Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
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Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
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I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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