A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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