I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
