Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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