He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
