Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We need to get me chipped asap
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
