Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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