Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
