He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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