Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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