I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
