You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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