Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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