Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
