Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
