i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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