Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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