I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
