1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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